Caller Ideed (Re-written)
by TrueEnglishEmotion
Summary: No one can truly understand how dangerous it is to be bored until it happens to them. Bella and Edward never get along as neighbors, one keeps the other from getting any and the other is an egotistic maniac. Are they really as different as they think or does it just take the right time and a few choice texts to hit things off? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

**A/n I've been re-reading my old story, Caller Ideed, as well as the reviews and I've decided I want to re-write it. I hope this time it's a little better, I'm going to take my time on it and hopefully build up the characters for you all. Please tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters in any way, sadly, just this cooky idea. **

I'm a 21 year old female, sitting at home, alone, with nothing to do. I swear my life can't get any more pathetic, no scratch that, I swear I can't get any more pathetic. Maybe I can get dressed and go to a bar, maybe flirt with a few hot guys out on the town. _But alone Bella, that's not very smart._ _Plus you flirt, yeah right, not even in your dreams._

Sighing, I pick my IPhone up and start scrolling through the contacts. Out of this whole town I have only two real friends, Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon. I know for a fact texting them will be a waste of time, they always have something to do. _Can you really blame them, what with their beautiful bodies and flirty attitude?_

**Hey Ali, please tell me for once in your life you have nothing to do.**

**-B**

I cross my fingers, hoping her response will be along the lines of 'I'd love to save you from your continuous boredom, be over in a few.'

**I'm rlly srry B, I'm out wth smone right now. **

**-Pixie**

"Son of a crack whore I knew it!" Guess it's up to Rose, ever sense she started seeing her new boy toy, Emmett, about three weeks ago she's been too busy doing god knows what.

**Hey Rose, you are my last hope. Do you feel like partying tonight, I'll even let you dress me if you say yes!**

**-B**

I was pulling out the big guns, Rose's idea of "dressing up" was basically a cloth wrapped around my body just big enough to cover up all the important parts, as long as you sure not to bend over.

**Aw B that sounds so grt but sadly I'm with Em. Txt Angie though, I think she's free!**

**-Rose**

Ah poop, I'm now being referred to my friend's friends, this is an all time low. I shouldn't complain, Angela is a sweet girl. I met her through Rosalie, Rose hired Angela as a cashier at her auto shop. The only downfall Angela had is she's just too damn nice! Whenever I talk to her I feel like I have to sensor myself.

**Hey Angela it's Bella, are you busy?**

**-B**

**Oh hi Bella! I'm actually out with a boy I met at the library, do you need something?**

**-Angela**

Great even Saint Mary has a date tonight, this is turning out to be the worst day ever.

**No, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out. Never mind though, have fun!**

**-B**

I toss my phone across the couch and pout, yes pout. Like the five year old girl I am, I'm dateless, friendless, and bored. My phone vibrates from the cushion next to me, mumbling about friend's betrayal I pick it up.

**I'm really sorry, I wish I can hang out with you. I think Jessica is alone tonight though, maybe you could ask her?**

**-Angela**

That is where I draw the line, I met Jessica at this college party Alice dragged me to last year. She is this slutty-big boob-plastic-want to be blond. She drinks way too much, and screws with anything with a dick. At the time I thought she was nice enough, excluding all her nasty flaws. I later found out how wrong I was. She called me up pleading for me to accompany her to a frat party.

Being the nice girl I am I said yes, the next morning I woke up in someone's bathtub with my underwear and tank top the only thing I was wearing and my jeans nowhere to be found. That was the first and last time I had a hangover. It took me five minutes but I found my purse with everything still in it, thank god, and drove home.

Jessica called to see where I was and if I was okay, I polity told her I was fine and that I never wanted to party with her again. What really got me was I later found out she laced my drink with some sort of drug. "To help you relax," she said when I confronted her about it.

I'd rather be sitting at home bored then out at some party drugged off my butt with a chance of being raped.

Accepting my lonely feat for the night, I decide to watch the game I had recorded of Jacob yesterday. If I was going to be a lazy piece of poop I may as well use my time to help better Jacob's football career.

**EPOV**

"Fuck Edward your mouth is amazing!" I smile to myself nibbling on her ear, woman are easy to please. I slowly kiss my way down her neck tugging on her curly blonde hair. Wincing I pull back, the taste of her perfume coats my tongue.

_I fucking hate when woman put perfume on their neck, just what I want your shitty fruit chemical all over my tongue. _

I rip her flimsy dress down the front in anger. Her moan resonates throughout my apartment. I feel my cock swell, gripping her lacy covered breasts I shove her against the wall. Our lips crash together, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance.

"_What the hell are you doing Jake, get your butt over there!" _

"Fuck! You bit my lip!" I roar and jump back dabbing at the torn and bloody skin.

"Oh. My. God. I'm so sorry Eddie!" Her bottom lip juts out in a full on pout. _Are you fucking kidding me? Is this chick really pouting? _

Rolling my eyes I grip her waist and throw her on the couch behind us, climbing on top of her. My cock stands to full attention as I feel her soft curvy body against mine. I groan noisily as her hands start to wander over my chest, pulling my shirt over my head.

Our lips meet again, I bite the soft flesh, a little harder than necessary. She whimpers but doesn't protest. My hips thrust into her hands as they meet my cock, she softly teases it through my jeans.

"_Jacob Black, if you let Tyler Crowley get one more touchdown, your toosh is mine!"_

I yelp and jerk back as the blonde's hands squeeze my cock too hard.

"What the fuck are you trying to do, rip it off!?"

Her face looks up at me in surprise as I stand above her. I'm starting to think this girl isn't worth the sex. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and back away from the couch.

"I think you should leave." I say, looking directly at her so there is no confusion.

"Don't be like that, it was an accident, your bitch of a neighbor is too loud and scared me." When I say nothing she lays back and pushes her chest up, I feel my dick twitch at the site of her breasts about to pop out of her lacy bra. With a growl I crawl back on top of her ripping her dress the rest of the way down. Running my fingers down her smooth stomach and make my way down her panties, massaging her through her panties.

She cries out and grips my bare bicep, I feel her knee against my throbbing cock growling I take her lips in my mouth once more.

"_Oh you have to be….that's it I'm calling you, you worthless jar of jelly!" _

"Fucking shit, balls, dick…." I roll of off the blond onto the floor and cup myself, the lovely friction from her knee turns into a hit to my most prized limb. In other words the fucking bitch just kneed me in the dick and balls.

"Oh shit!" She whispers knelling next to me, she attempts to rub my chest in an apology but I'm having none of it. She may be hot but she isn't worth crushing my dick over.

"I want you to leave." I grit out, slowly standing, still clutching my groan. I wobble towards my front door determined to give my neighbor a piece of my mind. I swear this bitch was against me, she wanted to make sure I wouldn't get any and I was fucking sick of it.

**A/n I'm adding a few things to the story and taking out a few others. I really hope you guys like this version better than the last. Please shoot me a review and tell me your thoughts**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hello people of Fanfiction, I have finally finished this chapter. My sincere apologies for taking so long, I really hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, I only claim the idea. **

**Onward!**

* * *

**BPOV:**

Jake and I have been friends since freshman year of high school, he was the jock of the school while I was the nerd. Before you get excited it wasn't like the movies, we didn't fall madly in love and have a life changing kiss in the rain. In fact, we were more like brother and sister. The way we met wasn't exciting or life changing either, it was the average jock needs help and nerd is too nice to say no. After a few study dates and a passing grade we became friends, some would say inseparable. I was there through every female walk of shame, every break up, and every drunken night.

Before I met Jake I was never interested in sports. I couldn't tell you the difference between a touchdown and a goal. One day Jake convinced me to come to his game, he guaranteed I'd enjoy it. I had no idea what was going on, the ball was going too fast and the noise was too loud. I didn't exactly enjoy it, but after that first game I was required to make an appearance at every one. He swore I was his good luck charm and who was I to let him down?

When senior year came around scouts flocked him and he landed a scholarship giving him a full ride through college. The only down fall was, it was in Texas. He begged me to follow, told me all the great things that could happen if I were to move to Texas with him. No matter how glamorous he made it sound, I couldn't move that far from Charlie, aka my dad. So I stayed behind in Forks and eventually moved to Seattle. I told him I would record every game he had and call him right after.

Which is what had me sitting on the couch 7 at night screaming at the T.V.

"What the hell are you doing Jake, get your butt over there!"

By this point Jake has sweat dripping down his face and he's sliding across the wet grass trying to regain some ground. His most hated rival, Tyler Crowley, speeds ahead dodging people or simply running them down. The stadium screams as Tyler passes the line, scoring yet again another touchdown.

"Jacob Black, if you let Tyler Crowley get another touchdown your toosh is mine!"

Minutes left, they are losing severely, I'm biting my nails as Jake gets the ball. His legs pump as he makes his way down the field, shoving people over and right before he passes the line, he trips and drops the ball. I jump up off my couch, popcorn goes flying and my remote hits the ground with a thud.

"Oh you have to be…that's it I'm calling you, you worthless jar of jelly!"

I look back behind me and cringe, my couch is covered in buttery junk food. There are a few smashed into the cushion where I had been sitting seconds before as well as crumbs of cookies that I had been munching on earlier. This is going to be a hell of a mess to clean up, I push past the popcorn searching for my phone. _Dammit, it couldn't have gotten far, I was just using it._

I resign to removing the cushions, tossing them across living room whilst dodging more flying popcorn. I send a silent thank you for not having a roommate to complain about my messy endeavors. I squeal in excitement as I locate my phone stuffed into the right side of the couch. Snatching it up and remembering my irritation from the game I turn it on and locate my contacts, scrolling through the small list of names. Just before I hit Jake's name a loud banging noise sounds from my front door.

I yelp and drop my phone, it bounces off my toe and lands on the carpet. I grit my teeth from the pain and bend over quickly retrieving it to make sure it didn't break. "Crap, I just got this phone, mommies sorry for dropping you and forgives you for trying to chop off her toe." Bringing it to my lips I kiss it several times as if it were a hurt child in need of coddling.

The banging vibrates my door once more, this time I'm more prepared and grip my phone as I hobble over. Swinging it open I ready myself to yell when all the air whooshes out of my lungs. Standing there is Adonis himself, I feel my self-esteem drop 10 octaves just by being in a close vicinity to him.

I start at his bare feet, normally feet are gross no matter the person but this man had some nice ones. They were strong and clean, the nails not too long and gross. He wore faded blue jeans that were loose around his calves but hugged his muscular thighs. The waist band hung low with only the zipper holding them up. I bit my lip, imagining pulling it down with my teeth and blush instantly at the thought.

He is shirtless, _thank god for that_, his abdomen wrapped with muscle spreading out into his hips forming a sharp V. My mouth waters as I take in his wash board abs and his prominent collar bones, his neck has me gritting my teeth. I almost pass out when I make my way to his jaw, defined and stubbly, just the way mama likes it. His plump lips are swollen and kissable. I gasp at his piercing emerald eyes as they bore into mine with…anger?

"If you are through with eye fucking me, I'd appreciate it if you quiet the fuck down!"

His velvety voice booms in the hallway and I cringe before I can hide it. Wow his voice just did things to my lady parts, wait Bella, what did he just say?

"Ah, okay you have a fault, I knew there had to be one." I clasp my hand over my mouth as my eyes widen. Well that was supposed to be said in my head, damn my brain filter.

"Excuse me?" He scans me with those, drop my panties and take me right here, eyes. I shrug, it's already out and he's being an asshole anyway may as well run with it.

"Well you are extremely hot, you can't have the looks and the personality as well."

His mouth drops open and I struggle to stifle a giggle. This man had no idea who he was messing with. I almost scream as dragon nails snake their way around his shoulders and cup his pecks.

"Edward ditch this ugly bitch and come back to me, I want to finish what we started." I cringe as her red-lipstick-stained-lips hiss close to his ear and almost vomit when her tongue sneaks out, licking his entire ear lobe. A low growl resonates from green eyes chest as he shoves her off of him.

Her hands disappear but she sidles up next to him gripping his forearm clearly not getting the hint. I take in her attire, she's wearing black stripper boots scuffed from too much use and a ripped dress exposing her leopard print bra. Her blond hair is tousled from, what I assume, the wild sex they were just having and her lips are smeared with a cheap lipstick.

"Territorial bitch." I mumble to myself and look at them with innocent eyes as dragon nails hisses.

"Why are we still standing here? She's obviously a retard, come on Edward I want you to fuck me."

My mouth drops open as she rubs against him like a cat in heat. Really, can she be any more desperate?

"Well he can't be that good, I heard nothing over here, so I guess there is another fault."

I lean in close to dragon-nails and cover the side of my face with my hand as if to tell a secret, "What, is he small?"

At this point I was full on laughing, they both stare at me with their mouths gaping like dead fish.

"It's a pity really, such potential, eh guess he can't be perfect that just wouldn't be fair."

Green-eyes opens his mouth about to speak when my phones goes off. I look down at my hand to see Jake's name flash across the screen. Holding one finger up asking for a minute I press answer, "Hey Jake, give me one minute."

"Okay, this has been really fun but I have to take this, you two have a good time."

I smile to myself as I close the door in their face, man did that feel good. Okay onto more pressing matters.

**EPOV:**

"What the fuck just happened?"

I came over there to give this bitch a piece of my mind and instead here I stand gaping like a fool in the hallway. She just thoroughly fucked me in the ass and I did nothing to retaliate. _Great Edward, next time why don't you just bend over and beg for it?_

I growl and make my way back to my apartment, what's really sick is I'm fucking hard for her. She insulted my personality, took a jab at little Eddie, and then slammed the door in my face. Yet, I'm fucking hard as a rock for her. A fleeting image passes through my head of my hands gripping her silky brown hair as I fuck her from behind.

A low groan escapes my lips before I can stop it, I throw the door open allowing it to hit the wall with a loud bang. Boxes strewn the living room and I dodge around them like a maze. Out of all the fucking apartments in the city, I had to move into the one next to a fucking hot lunatic.

I feel hands curl around my waist and breast press up against my back. Lip-gloss- stickiness peck at my shoulder blades as nails rack down my abs. This chick really didn't understand the meaning of no. I grip her hands and tear them away from me, using a bit more force than necessary.

"Tiffany…"

"Tanya."

"…I told you to leave, I want you out of my fucking apartment. I'm no longer in the fucking mood!"

She flinches slightly but bounces back fast. Inching closer she eyes me like a rare piece of meat. Her blond hair is a mess around her shoulders but she tosses it aside paying it no mind.

"Your dick says otherwise, you are hot for me so just accept it." She moves in close and cups me through my jeans. I yelp and back-step removing her hand from little Eddie.

"No Tessa, I'm not attracted to you. You were a simple fuck and nice game but I'm done now and would like you to leave." I say this as I push her towards the door, shoving her out and slamming it in her face.

I spin around and pace my living room, being careful not to trip up over the boxes. I allow myself to remember how she looked standing in the doorway. She was wearing Captain America boxers, showing off her creamy white legs, with a matching Captain America tank top. Her brown hair came down in waves over her shoulders and had popcorn intertwined threw a few of the strands. Her breasts are plump yet not over bearing, I lick my lips at the thought of sucking and biting on them. Her lips were pink and full, ready to be bitten and kissed.

I slam my fists against the wall nearest to my flat screen and grab myself through my jeans. Gosh I needed to fuck this girl, just the thought of her beneath me screaming my name had me groaning.

"What the hell! Jake, I'm so sorry, tell me everything!" Her soft voice resonates through the thin walls. I lean in closer and press my ear to it straining to hear her conversation. After a few minutes of leaning against the wall and hearing nothing I take a step back and plop down on the couch.

"She has no idea who she is messing with. By the end of this month I'll have fucked her harder and more times than she has ever been fucked."

* * *

**A/N Well this is going to be interesting, I've decided to delete the other Caller Ideed, I find this one to be going a bit better. I hope the people who read it before aren't too disappointed. Reading the ending to the last one will not ruin this ending, I'm taking a few things out of the last story but the end result will be different. I hope you all liked this chapter, please review your thoughts. Reviewing is like being thoroughly kissed by Edward! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n Hello fello people of Fanfiction, thank you so much to all the people who have followed, favorited, or reviewed! You guys are all so great, I really hope I don't let you down. I wanted to say the reason I'm writing so slow is I have this problem with rushing my stories because I want to get the next chapter out as soon as possible for you guys. Usually this doesn't turn out great so I've decided to take the chapters at a slower pace. I apologize for any grammar mistakes I may have, I do not have a beta. I hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight, only the cooky idea.**

**Onward!**

* * *

**BPOV:**

"Jake you will not believe what just happened!" I clutch the phone in my hand and start to pace around my living room. Adrenaline pumps through my veins making my heart beat faster, I feel as if I can run 10 miles. _Pff, not even in your dreams Bella._

"_Bella before you get upset with me about my game last night you have to understand why." _

"Game? Oh, yes, the game, you sucked monkey balls last night Jacob Black and I will rip into you but first let me tell you about my new neighbor. Remember that old man with the weird twitchy eye that used to live next door? He died a couple of weeks ago and the landlord finally got someone to rent it again."

"_Aw, old man Stew, I liked him. He used to bake these…"_

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are all devastated by the poor man's death. That is not the point, the new tenant is the point. What do you call those people who don't believe in wearing clothes?

"_Wait, what?"_

"Keep up with me Jake, you know those people who walk around all natural?"

"_Bella you need to slow down, you're not making any sense, you have a nudist next door?"_

"A nudist yes…well okay not exactly. He had on jeans, but they were unbuttoned and he had no shirt on! I had this really strong urge to just tug his pants down and see what he was packing, I wonder how big he is."

"_Ew, Bells that's not something I want to hear. You realize I'm not gay right?"_

"Sadly he has a fault, he's a big ol' asshole. Right when I answered the door he accused me of "eye fucking" him. Granted it wasn't a false accusation but still, who does that?"

"_As interesting as your story about the sexy nudist next door is I have to…"_

"That's not even the worst part Jake! I almost screamed when these dragon nails snaked around his body. He has really bad taste, the tramp looked like a hooker off the street. She was rubbing her lady bits all over him right in front of me!"

"_Bella are you even listening to me?"_

"Is it wrong that I want to teach him how a real woman is like?"

"_I'm wearing Barbie underwear."_

"Yes I know, I'm a virgin, but I'm more real than her. She is nasty!"

"_I have perky tits" _

"You're right, I should just steer clear of him, this kind of sucks though. Why does he have to be so hot?"

"_I got fired and now live on the streets as one of those creepy hobo guys talking to himself and sniffing people."_

"Ugh by Jake, he has these amazing Emerald eyes, once he looks at you, you're hooked!"

"_Leah cheated on me!"_

I open my mouth to keep on going but freeze and pull my phone back, staring at it like a gaping fish. I can not have heard him right, him and Leah had been dating for over two years now. He met her his first year in college, they are madly in love.

"Jake could you repeat that, I think I heard you wrong."

I hear a sigh on his end, "You didn't hear wrong Bella, Leah cheated on me. What's worse is she cheated on me with that scumbag Tyler."

"What the hell! Jake, I'm so sorry, tell me everything!"

I walk to my kitchen and pull a chair out, plopping down. _I'm such a bitch, here I am complaining about some hot almost nude neighbor and Jake's girl just cheated on him with his dick of a rival._

"There isn't much to tell really, I walked in on them fucking on my couch, fucking burned that thing. The next thing I know I have Tyler under me, his face is a bloody mess and Leah is scratching at my arm screaming for me to get off. I tried to explain to the coach what happened but he'd hear none of it. I was lucky I wasn't benched for that game, my coach says I need some anger management classes, or a therapist, or some shit like that. He said I'm benched for the remainder of the season and I won't be coming back until I see someone. What am I going to do Bella? This is my whole life, I fucking have nothing if I can't play?"

"Jake why are you freaking out, just look for some help?"

"It's not that easy, the scholarship doesn't cover my room expenses unless I play all the games. I can't fucking afford the room and board Bella!"

I feel my heart clench for my long-time friend. His world is crashing down around him and I can do nothing but watch. It's not as if his anger wasn't justified. Though I have to admit, Jake had a hot temper and it was easy to set off. I had witnessed a few incidents and was always happy I wasn't at the other end of his anger. The memory of Jacob plumbing Erik Yorkie for imitating spanking me from behind flits across my mind

I shake my head and try to concentrate, there had to be a way he could continue to go to school and see someone.

"Jake, you said all your classes are online right?"

"Yes, I don't know what that has to do with anything though."  
I push out of my wooden chair and start to pace around the kitchen. "Well, you could come live with me, at least until you finish with your anger thing, you can take the classes online here.

"Bella, I could never take advantage of you like that."

A low whimper comes from me as I round the corner to my living room and stub my toe on the wall, the same toe my phone had attempted to amputate earlier I might add.

"Son of a girl scout cookie! Gosh dammit, what the hell universe, why do you hate me so much?"

I hop around the couch and tumble face first into the cushionless couch. My forehead lands on the wood beam along the bottom and a sharp pain ricochets through my head. I throw my head back and hold back a scream, the phone drops from my hand as I grip my forehead.

"What else are you going to throw at me tonight? Would you like me to be crippled?"

I look up at my ceiling and flip off whatever god is looking down at me. Remembering Jake is still on the phone I quickly pick it up from the floor.

"Bella, hello Bella? Bells, are you still there? Bella are you…"

"Hello, sorry Jake I had a bit of an accident."

I look down at my beat read toe and feel it pulsing. Stupid universe, here I was trying to do something nice for someone, it's not as if I was asking for anything in return but it would be nice to not die before I could help Jake.

"Accident? Did you potty in your pants again Bella? You know that's what toilets are for right?"

A low snicker comes from his end, a string of curse words sound through my head as I glare at my phone.

"Ha, ha Jake, very funny. No, I stubbed my toe on the wall and landed on my couch. Conveniently the couch has no cushions so a nice wood beam caught me."

I rub at the tender spot on my forehead and grab the cushions, shoving them back in their positions and sag into the softness.

"Only you could accomplish all that Bella. Why don't you have any cushions on your couch?"

I sneer at the phone and mentally choke him, "Screw you Jake, aside from the throbbing toe and sore head I think I'll live, thanks for asking by the way. The couch is cushionless at the moment because I lost my phone. As for the discussion on living arrangements, I'm not taking no for an answer. I expect to see you on Monday morning Jake. That should be enough time to pack, buy a plane ticket, and get your butt down here."

At first Jake refuses, but after a few choice words as well as a promise to help pay rent, he finally relents. I looked up at the clock and realize it was now 10 at night, with a big yawn I wish him a goodnight and hang up the phone. I stand and stretch out my stiff limbs and walk towards the hallway but freeze. Just beyond this wall is Green eyes. I wonder what he's doing, did dragon nails stay? He can't be that good if I've heard nothing this whole time, these walls are paper thin I should've heard something.

An image passes through my head, green eyes looking down at me as his hands wander over my naked form. His intense emerald gaze keeps me locked in as his fingers travel further down, I feel his warm skin move over my thighs and skim across the promise land.

A moan escapes my lips bringing me out of my wet daydream, I chew on my lip and rub my thighs against each other. _Son of a crack whore Bella, why would you go and think up all that, now we are freaking wet for the douchebag next door._

I shake my head and make my way to the shower. I have two options, I can continue the fantasy in the shower and take care of things the old fashion way, or I can turn the water on ice cold and shock my body into submission. I strip down and shiver as the cool air hits my naked body. The mirror sits in front of me as I grip the marble counter top. I look at my reflection, my brown eyes are wide and almost completely consumed my dilated pupils, and my messy hair is all over my oval face with bits of popcorn clinging to the curls. I chew on my swollen bottom lip, I look like a horny hobo.

Screw it, I walk over to the shower and turn the water on as hot as it will go, stepping into the blasting cascade. The image reappears, this time my hands follow the path my fake Green eyes is taking.

_I'm so going to hell for this._

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**A/n Wow, this is one got a little heated. Do not freight my lovely readers there will be better lemons in the future. I'm not exactly sure how good I am at them so please do not virtually shoot me if I suck, I've never written one before so I will try my hardest. Anyway, please review, reviews are like Edward's wander hands.**


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